Cynthia's Testimony

My Personal Testimony

My name is Cynthia Lorraine, I am one of 11 children brought up under the loving care of my amazing parents, who this year celebrated their 55th wedding anniversary.

It was not easy growing up with so many siblings but we have always been a very close family. As I reflect back I remember wanting to leave home at the earliest opportunity just so that I could have my own space. For many years, I shared a room with two of my younger siblings. I remember my joy when I finally got to have my own room after one of my older siblings moved out.

So how did I come to the decision to accept the Lord Jesus Christ as my personal saviour?

My father has always been a Minister of religion from before I was born, so I was bought up in a Christian home with a strong sense of right and wrong.

However, I was a bit like the prodigal son and wanted to get out into the world and experience life on my own terms. Some of my older siblings would be going out to nightclubs and parties and I could not wait until I was old enough to join them. Finally, my opportunity came and I remember how much I enjoyed dancing to the music until the early hours of the morning.

Then at the tender age of 18, when I had finished my A Levels and secured a place at Bristol Polytechnic, I was at last able to go out into the world and plot my own course.

My father's friend, Mr Glave had some friends in Bristol who I could rent a room from for £30 per week. Therefore, I was all set and my adventure could now begin, or so I thought.

What I had imagined would be an exciting adventure actually turned out to be my worst nightmare.

To begin with, I had to share the room I was renting with a 9-year-old boy. Then I discovered that I was one of only 2 women in my year on the course, I was studying at the Polytechnic. Having come from a large family with 6 brothers I was able to cope with the disproportionate number of men to women on the course but I did miss my 4 sisters as I was used to always having someone to go shopping with or to just hang out.

The first few months were an incredibly lonely time

for me and most weekends found me on a coach heading back to London.

It was during this time that I began to really appreciate how blessed I am to be a part of a large family. 

It was also the time, when I came to recognize that God exists. I learnt that I needed to have my own relationship with Him, as I was no longer under the protection and security of my parents and family.

One day, when I was on my way to the Polytechnic, I met a young man called, Ian Thompson, who invited me out on a date. I accepted the offer as he seemed nice enough and he had his own car.

The time came for our date; he came to pick me up, and took me to a couple of different parties. During the evening, I noticed that he was smoking cannabis. I did not think anything of this, as it was all part of the lifestyle that I had chosen to adopt. Lots of people I knew, at the time, smoked.

Later on that night, I became a victim of rape. I had lost my dream of being a virgin on my wedding day. I remember thinking, how could this have happened to me? My father is a Minister, why did God not prevent this from happening? 

I then understood what a sheltered life I had at home with my family and parents. I could see how naive I had been, to have gone out on my own with a complete stranger. Whenever I had gone out in the past, I had always been with my older siblings. I had not even been aware of any of the potential dangers.

I am thankful to God that I was able to return back safely to the place I was staying at the time. It could have been much worse; I could have actually lost my life that night.

The following day Ian knocked at my door. I talked to him on the doorstep, as I did not want to have anything more to do with him. I had left my earrings in his car, and he had come to return them to me. He started telling me how much he loved me and wanted to see me again. I thanked him for returning my earrings, and let him know that I would not be seeing him again.

I thank God that was the end of it; I never saw or heard from him again. I put the incident behind me and went on with life. 

I wish I could say that I understood at this point that I needed to make Jesus my personal saviour, but I just decided to continue along the path I had chosen.

There's a song that says, "Oh what needless pain we bear, all because we do not carry, everything to God in prayer.”

At this point in my life I had never really understood what prayer meant. I did not know that God wanted not only for me to worship Him but He wanted a relationship with me.

I recognized His ability to protect us, but I believed this only applied to people that went to church.

I continued going to clubs and parties but this time I was much more cautious about who I went with.

So a couple of years later I returned to my parents’ home in Beckenham, as I was now doing my placement year closer to London than Bristol.

One day the church that my family attend were doing a sponsored walk to raise money for charity. I decided to join them as it was a good cause and I thought it would be fun.

Whilst on the walk I travelled with a family friend called, Danny Thomas. We had a great time and we laughed the whole day. He really caused me to change my perception of what it means to be a Christian.

I had always seen God as a frowning judge. I thought l had to live my life by certain rules in order to please Him. I did not think being a Christian could be fun. I began to realize that life could be more enjoyable, if I accepted the help that the Lord had been trying to offer me all these years, rather than seeing this as some kind of weakness.

My sister invited me to a New Year's Eve Jamboree, at a church in Peckham, and I went with her. It was amazing, the singing was beautiful and the musicians played really well.  I had more fun than I had ever had at the clubs and parties that I had been going to. When I got home, my clothes did not stink of alcohol and tobacco. It had just been great fun; not at all what I had imagined beforehand.

Then a few weeks later, I attended a service for the blessing of one of my sister's children.

Prior to this service, I had been very unhappy for a long time. I remember nights when I cried myself to sleep, wishing I could just die and never awake to see another day.

During the service, I felt the Lord was speaking directly to me, through the preacher. He was saying that I should bring my burdens to Him, Jesus, and that He would take care of me.

I remember an overwhelming sense of relief when I went to the altar. I decided that day to accept His offer, and I became a Christian.

My only regret was that it took me so long to realize that all God wants to do is to love and take care of us.

Once I decided to allow Jesus into my life, my life changed dramatically. He promises to give us an abundant life, which means a life overflowing with blessings. In the past, I thought becoming a Christian would mean living a life bound up with rules and regulations, but I have been set free from societal rules about how we should live. I am no longer concerned about what people think about me, because I know that God loves and He provides me with everything I need.

He has blessed me with a loving husband and three beautiful children, and all of our needs both physical and spiritual are met.

Using Maslow's hierarchy of needs [1] I would describe myself as being able to pursue self-actualization because all of my physiological needs are taken care of.

This does not mean that I no longer have any problems but because of my relationship with Jesus; I always have someone to share my problems with. He also provides counselling and helps me deal with every situation as they arise.